Today we are met daily with important and sometimes complex issues large and small. Political, economic, scientific, religious, ecological, ethics, and even the blending of these, forming sometimes mind bogglingly complex problems.
It occurs, that as we express and discuss our sometimes very differing views, leading to conflict, anger, frustration, and painful feelings we many times loose sight of our ultimate common goal in all this. That is, what is the truth here?
We all have opinions. Sometimes they are solidified by extensive research, third party verifications, and other forms of serious investigative research. And sometimes we don’t do all that. Maybe we don’t have the time. Maybe its not a priority for us right now. Maybe we don’t know how to do that sort of thing and all we have is a kind of feeling about it. Never-the-less we form an opinion usually. Here’s where the trouble starts and its not that we have opinions. No, the trouble starts from the fact that we cling to these opinions. We are attached to them. We even invest a bit of our identity in these opinions. So much so that if someone attacks or even questions our opinion, we feel like we have been attacked personally. Someone just attacked us. We have a physical reaction. It feels like we were hit --- right in our opinion.
IF we are truly after the truth. Really. Then we can loosen our grip on our opinions can’t we? Not be so attached to what we presently think about something? Just let it go with the faith that if its the truth, we won't loose it for good. Its always there for us to know right? In a discussion with another or a group, we might find out our opinion was correct. We might find out our opinion was partially correct. We might find out we were totally mistaken too. The point is that if the truth is really what we’re after, then it doesn’t matter right? We end up with the truth and this is good. And if it turns out that one of the people we are having this investigative discussion with seems to be able to point out the truth about something, and so we come to see the truth about that something, then how is that a problem for us? Now they can be curious and gracious and kind about it. Or they can be a jerk about it too. But even then, we arrive at the truth don't we? We have expanded and clarified our view of the world, and maybe they only remain a jerk. That would be too bad for them. We can have compassion for them caught in such an ego net. But they still helped us arrive at the truth about something. Thank you very much I say.
So, what kind of dialogue fosters and encourages investigation and discovery as opposed to debate and argument? I think having a kind of background intension that we are in a process of inquiry and discovery is helpful. That we are working together trying to find out what's what. As we’re in dialogue, being kind, very patient, and respectful, listening carefully, not interrupting, and speaking carefully, mindfully, thoughtfully, is also helpful. Also noticing any internal reactions we might have as we listen can be very illuminating, about the subject being discussed as well as about ourselves. This kind of dialogue is very different, feels very different from a debate or argument. Any excitement arises from real discovery and insight. There is none of the kind of "boxing match" kind of excitement. This is not a contest of any kind. There is no competitive flavor at all. This is a collaboration leading to discovery of what the truth is with the subject being discussed, freshly looked at by all.
To do this of course we have to let go of what we believe. Just set it aside. The truth cannot be harmed, cannot be changed, and if we ever knew it in the first place, cannot be lost. The truth doesn’t care who knows it or doesn’t know it. It simply is there for us to see or not see. So, if what we believe was in fact true, we will rediscover it won’t we? Nothing important is lost. And really when you think about it, nothing is at risk either. We only stand to gain, to benefit. There's no down side in this type of dialogue. And if it turns out our belief was not true, then who needs it? I’d much rather see and know the truth, than live in delusion.
Be well and happy and maybe a little bit curious too.
